A throw of Ignorance

Toinght Scott and I decided that we would spend our evening standing on corners holding up signs saying "VOTE YES ON PROP 8!" as we were standing there we got lots of cheers and people honking in excitement and acceptance that we were out standing up for what is right!! Scott and I were standing with probably 10 other people from our ward everyone one with a sign in hand and on each corner at the interscetion there was a group of 10 holding up signs. As we were standing there all of the sudden we herd a yell and a splatter and as I looked at my feet i saw a broken egg and i looked up and there was a car driving by throwing rotten eggs at all of us but non of the eggs hit us!! they probably threw 5 or 6 eggs and no one got hit.

i thought that was really crazy because we were like 2 feet away from the car. we totally had a bubble around us protecting us. Heavenly Father is on our side. I will have to say it would have totally stunk if i got hit by that egg and i'm not even kidding it was right by my feet. the people who are against prop 8 passing are very rude and ignorant and should not throw eggs at people who stand on the corner. ya know you don't see us throwing eggs at them. plus who drives around with rotten eggs in their car??? any ways that is probably our most exciting news that we have lately, who know what tomorrow will bring!!!

My life after the baby.

So I have realized that life is crazy after having a baby, but not in the normal way obviously. So I have come to the realization that my life is a total rollercoaster!!! some times i have the most amazing highs and some of the most horrible lows, it is very crazy but totally normal. Today is a wonderful day!! I have been thinking about Joseph alot and going through pictures and remembering what a wonderful son he was. I have such a wonderful son and I am so greatful for how close he brought Scott and I together, and because of Joseph, Scott and I have now realized how important it is to have a family. I am really glad that Joseph was our little suprise honeymoon baby, if he wouldn't have come and if we would have followed our plan and waited 3 or 4 years to start our family we wouldn't have found out about my condition and it would have set us back in having children to raise that much longer. I am just so greatful for everything that has happened. Of course I wish that I was still pregnant but I am happy to know that I will be able to raise Joseph and that is really comforting.

One thing that I think is so awesome is seeing how much kids look like their parents. When Joseph was born the first thing that Scott and I noticed was that Joseph has my hands, my wrinkly grandma hands, and he has Scotts most handsome nose, my lips, and i wasn't quite sure whos ears he had. It was so much fun to see what Scott and I had created. I love my son and I am so greatful to be his mom. I am also excited to try again to have another little one, I am really greatful for doctors and insurance and all of this advanced med. with out it I wouldn't be able to have kids at all.

I love Joseph and I feel so proud to be his mom. I am so great ful that when we do have more kids to raise that they will have an older brother who will always be watching over them. Its nice to know that we have our little angle watching over us all the time. Joseph wasn't with us for very long but he has changed our lives dramatically and I know that he has changed lives of many other people. I Just am feeling so proud right now and I am always so proud to be a mom and to have such an amazing and such a perfect son. I know that life is never going to be easy and I know that a part of my heart will always be broken because so much of me was taken but for this moment in time I am greatful that I am having this positive outlook on everything. Who knows what tomorrow will bring but I don't even care about tomorrow because today is great and I have a great husband, a great son, I know that the gospel is true and that throught the attoinment we can all be healed. I am so greatful for Joseph, I miss him alot but I am so proud of him. Being a mom is one of the most amazing things that could have happened to me and as being a mom I am very proud of my son! I have a perfect child that i totally love so much. I hope everyone has a great day.

VERY IMPORTANT

President Monson has asked that everyone in the church add on their blogs, facebook, etc. something about Proposition 8 in California. We must pass Prop 8. This is a proposition to the Constitution of California to define marriage between one man and one woman. The failure of Prop 8 to pass means more than just gays to be married. We will be adding a few websites to our blog that the church has prepared to help us with this.

This is very important. Important enough that Salt Lake had a special satellite broadcast to all church houses in California to encourage us to vote yes of Prop 8 and to do all we can to educate others to do the same.

More to come!!!

You may not live in califorina but people who view your blogs or your family and friends blogs do.

We have an opportunity to actually do something to stand up for what we know is truth!

my little buddy!

So this past little while billy has been my little buddy!!! He lets me dress him up, and actually loves it, and he snuggles me and he even come with me on errends. I'm very greatful that I have my little buddy Billy, he has really been a comfoter for me. Now all I have to do is convince Scott that we need another little puppie for me to take care of, and so that billy can have a friend when I want to be with Scott.

billy didn't really know what to think about the camera he was kinda afraid of it.

i will have to say billy loves to go out but he doesn't always want to be contained to the small area of the purse and trys to jump out sometimes and it makes me a little bit upset at him:)
I just love my little buddy billy he is so cute and always looks up to me i'm glad that i am his mommy and i know that Scott is so glad that he is his daddy.

Do things ever get better???

So it has been 7 weeks and 3 days since Scott and I have been home from the hospital and life is harder than I ever could have imagened. Every day I wake up, get ready, and get on with life and my heart is just broken. I just want to be pregnant and have a baby that would be 27 weeks and 3 days old. i am tired of not feeling my baby in my tummy, i'm tired of having all this baby fat and no baby to show for it, i'm tired of strech marks and no baby to show for it. all i have is a grave sight to go to and put flowers on. I am totally mad at the world and i don't understand why this had to happen to Scott and I. I was so excited to be having a little boy, and now finding out that my two sisters are also having boys would have made it so much fun, they would have been the 3 amiogos! But for some reason that i don't know why there will just be the two of them. I am having a hard time with alot of things, its hard to sit in primary and watch all the little kids because i know that i wont ever get to see Joseph in there singing his articles of faith and preparing for the primary program, I have a hard time seeing so many pregnant women walking around with out a care in the world, its hard to see moms with new babies, because i only got to have my new baby for a couple of hours. I don't understand why this had to happen to us and now I am so scared to have a baby. I can't lose another one, I can't go through all of this again. All I want right now is to kiss my baby every day and it kills me to know that i wont be able to kiss him any more. I want to change his stinky little diapers. There are so many things I want to do with Joseph that I will just have to wait to do with him.

I am not sure that I am ready for this i'm not ready to deal with losing my baby I really miss my little boy. I really want to be a mom to my son right now I have such a longing to be a mom and to take care of my son. This is so hard. But I do feel very proud to be a mom to my sweet angel he did so much for Scott and I, he came for this short time on earth to bring bring Scott and I so close together and to help grow our testomonies. The other night Scott and I decided to go to the temple and while i was there I had this overwhelming love wrapped around my body and I knew that Joseph was there giving me a big hug and letting me now that he was safe and having so much fun. I can't explain how greatful I am for the temple and for the gospel. Lately I have felt so alone but as soon as I walked into the temple I knew that joseph was there and heavenly father was there and I know that they were both letting me know how much they love me. I really miss my baby Joseph and I have had a hard time accepting the fact that I can't raise him right now. It feels like so many things have happened lately and as things are slowing down reality is setting in and it is harder than ever. but I am greatful for my sweet husband who is handeling the stress of everything that has happened so well. Scott your amazing and I love you so much. I just want everyone to know that Joseph was a perfect baby and he was not a miscarriage. He was a perfect little baby and everything was developed, everything was just very small. If I didn't have a weak cervix then he would have been born to us in december as the perfect baby, but because i can't support a child over 10 oz my body had to deliver him. I felt Joseph movine inside me just an hour before he was born and i fell asleep feeling my baby moving. I all of the sudden woke up to the worst contractions and Joseph was born but had passed away just before he was born. I know that i have a perfect baby, who my have been a still born but his sweet spirit was in the hospital room with us. I love my baby and I love my husband, and there is no way I could get through this without Scott. babe your amazing.

OuR WonDerFuL WeEkeNDs!

So our past weekends have been so wonderful. NOTHING has happened :) Scott and i have been enjoying our house all to our selves with no roommates or family(not that we don't love our family or anything :)) But it has seriously been so relaxing. We went to a Movie with our freinds, we rented some movies and just cuddled on the couch and relaxed together, and we never got any calls from any family saying something horrible has happend....YEAH. I think our bad luck streak is up, and we couldn't be more happy!!!

Ok and i can't believe that it is almost Fall. It used to get dark around here around like 8:30 9:00 but now I look out the window and it is pitch black outside. So last night I thought to my self after seeing how dark it was outside, wow it is so late, then i looked at the clock. It was ONLY 7:30. It is crazy time is flying by, but i am very excited for fall and fall weather, i'm tired of all this heat. And I'm so excited for Halloween and Thanksgiving and Christmas. I think fall is my favorite season!!

Dad is ok!

So this weekend was another scary one. My dad "Joe Gneiting" got really sick and ended up in the hospital early Saturday morning. I got a phone call from my mom at about 4 a.m. after hearing what the situation was I got on the next plane to Utah. My parents were down in Utah to see a BYU football game. We thought he had a stoke in the hotel room that night. After lots of tests and a night in the hospital the doctors thankfully ruled out a stroke. Its been a few days and he seems to be doing very well. We are so thankful that he is OK. What a wake up call.

Our family has never had anything bad happen to it. We think that we have now filled our quota for a long time. ha ha.

To celebrate the beginning of good luck Amy and I are going to the Beachcomber in Crystal Cove for dinner!!